thoughts
“I woke up at 1am and haven't been to sleep since. Trying to think back to when America was great as that's where we all seem to be headed. So let's reminisce together, shall we? Fifteenish years since high school and constantly being called a chink in the hallways and being told that my acceptance into one of the top five universities in this country was due to affirmative action. Nine or so years since I was in a situation where gas lighting and a door shutting on my head was the norm. Twenty or so years ago when I wanted to fit in so badly that I regularly scrubbed my face and hands until they were raw to get light skin and would pray to God to make me white and give me a Wonderbread sandwich for lunch. And let's not forget when I was laughed at for writing a fourth grade report on what it would be like to be a President. And probably with the biggest impact on me, twenty five years ago when my aunt's husband first laid a hand on me and told me that no one would believe me. In recent years, it seemed that everyone was slowly gaining some footing - a few more role models of color, a few more women in leadership roles. I guess that's what did it for a lot of people. If we are all equal then no one is ahead anymore. No one gets special perks that only those at the bottom seem to see.
There is a reason that all of these thoughts and thoughts very similar flood back into my mind and the kind of others. Trump has bullied people at rallies for reasons under the sun, harassed and assaulted women, Said he was going to kick Muslims out of the country (please see me if you want to get your ass schooled in the topic of Children of the Book) scammed poor students out of money and an education, doesn't pay taxes, I can go on... If this is a man who you think is a good fit to lead *everyone* in this nation, I have no words for you.
It is so easy to lose hope. I know because after this morning, I basically have none. It is easy to feel helpless and betrayed. At 1am, I worried what to tell my daughters. I'm worried about the bullying and the hate that has been sanctioned by our President Elect through his own actions, through his own words. I worried about them being called names, them feeling unsure of their own power, and the more I thought of this, I thought, "Fuck no." I may be sad and mourning today, but now there is rage in me. A rage driven by wanting to make sure my daughters don't get the same treatment. I think of my friends who are terrified and hurt. LGBTQ couples who feel unsure of what this means for them. I think of unconscious strangers that get raped by predators in the street..predators that only get a few months of jail time. I think of women who see that glass ceiling and feel so far away. I think about my Muslim friends who text each other not to wear their hijabs because they are afraid of getting attacked or texting their sons not to go out because they fear for their lives. I think of friends who scroll through the resource list and debate calling the suicide hotline because they don't know what to do now. These people are not crybabies. They aren't mad because they lost a bet. These are fellow Americans that are devastated in ways I hope many of you cannot understand. But I think of these people, and the fire in me burns brighter.
Today, I cried. Tomorrow, the fire burns a bit brighter... We cannot be silent anymore. It doesn't work. We cannot silently condone hate. It just allows people to run unchecked and unchallenged. No. We enter the fray. We cry. We scream. We get to work. We build bridges between ourselves and build ourselves up again. We talk about our differences with love. We have the hard conversations about sex, religion, race...all those things we are scared of. We do it because we have to. To survive. And also to thrive. We can't just float through on the good graces of white people anymore.
Donald Trump's election is a national and global tragedy. Let this not all be for nothing. Please let us have the final say in our future. ” — Christine S.
An email from a very dear friend about Donald Trump and the future. Posted with her permission.